Dancing with The Devil - My Crucible Experience (Part One)

I thought long and hard about what my first blog post should be about; the story of my discovery of Mr Armitage perhaps? But no...I decided what felt right was to start at the point where the inspiration for this blog really started; back at the start of "Richardember", when I went to see the man himself, on-stage, in The Crucible.

The Crucible

I had heard about the production months back - in fact I remember distinctly gasping in delight when I saw this article on BBC News: 

'Richard Armitage to star in The Crucible at Old Vic' ... 

"*gasp* HE is going to play PROCTOR?! Oh that is the perfect role for him, it's going to be INCREDIBLE, I've got to see that! *does an excited dance*".

Then, I forgot about it for a bit. I then, quite by chance, saw this (wonderful) interview Richard did on BBC Breakfast and the excitement came flooding back: 

I thought he looked incredible with his beard and new cropped hair, and he seemed, though tired, really contented and in a good place. These were all positive vibes in my eyes and I delved into some money I had saved up for special things like this and booked myself a ticket! 

I booked to go and see the Matinee, as I thought it would be less busy and I could enjoy it better. In hindsight, I think this was a mistake - I knew I had wanted to try and meet him if I could, but at the time had no idea he took such time to actually come out after the show and greet all his fans; Stage Door Experiences were a new phenomena for me. After booking my ticket I decided to have a poke around on Twitter to see if anyone was talking about it, and sure enough I saw some incredible accounts of people's experiences, as well as some fabulous photos and autographs and lots of smiling (and equally tearful) faces. This was the moment at which I kicked myself : "Why did you book a matinee, you silly girl! He won't come out between performances, there's not a chance you'll meet him now .. :( ". However, I said c'est la vie on the matter and was still so intrigued to see the play as I had managed to get myself a Stall seat (eek!)! 

I was lucky enough to study The Crucible during my A Levels at school, and fell in love with it. I was slightly concerned when I booked my ticket, as I had tried in the past to watch a film version of the play with Daniel Day Lewis and Winona Ryder (which is also excellent!) but had only managed to watch it all the way thorough once, as I got so infuriated and distressed by what I was witnessing unfold I couldn't bare to watch any longer. I hoped the play would have a similar effect, but not so much that I would end up running out of the theatre in the middle of a scene in distress! hehehe....

So the day came and I was extremely excited, and, to be honest, a little spaced out. How would it feel to see Richard Armitage in the flesh? Would I be disappointed? What if all my thoughts about him were all a fallacy? 

I got dressed up, felt positive, and set off on my adventure. It was a beautiful sunny day. I got to the theatre early and decided to sit outside on a wall and enjoy the weather. I tried to sit in the eyeline of the Stage Door, though quite a distance away, in the hope I might get a glimpse of the man himself! But no luck, hehe.

Sitting outside The Old Vic: "Where is heeee?!" ;)

I got to my seat, six rows from the front, and very near the aisle - I was pretty close! The excitement in the theatre was palpable; considering we were in a packed theatre, people were speaking to each other in hushed voices of anticipation and excitement, it was really great to witness. There was a smell to the theatre as well; musky, herbal, an almost Pagan kind of scent, it really set the scene well.

And then it began. Out came the cast. "Where is he?!?!" I thought "Oh no, I hope I haven't come on an understudy day!" ... but then I saw him! He was much more lithe in real life than I was expecting - he looked like a dancer, even with his thick woollen coat and scarf and big heavy boots (okay I can't resist, I just have to say it.. he has lovely legs ;) ). His eyes also really are that sparkly in real life, if not more so! His features are beautifully angular and he had real physical presence as he sort of brooded about in great strides about the stage; his love of physical theatre was evidently clear in his performance. I've heard people say he is "more handsome" in real life. I can't say I've thought him un-handsome, but having seen him I do see what is meant by this. As well as his physique  you get a sense of his spirit and a fire behind his ice blue eyes, which somehow makes him feel more rounded and attractive in a deeper sense to just the physical. I was not disappointed with the real Mr Armitage at all. In fact, I was quite starstruck! 

It took me a bit of time to get over the fact I was in the same room as this man I had admired for 10 years, since I first saw him in North and South, and I think it affected my perception of the play just a little bit. But I was still mesmerised and extremely impressed with it; it's pared down feel, the atmospheric music and the sheer hysteria of Samantha Colley and the the other girls' performances. 

One thing I did notice about Richard was that he seemed quite drained, and his voice was quite hoarse, which was completely understandable. What I've always admired about RA is his almost compulsive ability to give his all to every character he portrays - to feel them heart, body and soul. And though his hoarse voice did make a few lines difficult to hear at times, I think somehow it worked within the context of his performance. John Proctor is a man pushed to the limit - all his beliefs and all he holds dear are torn from him and destroyed, and this weariness and exasperation was most certainly present in Richard's hoarseness and fatigue. It made me feel for Proctor more, somehow, than if he'd had RA's normal rich and booming voice. This man was broken, in every way.

The play flew by in a flurry of emotion and hysteria. I remember hearing Richard say at his talk at The Old Vic that he saw in the audience many hands flying to people's mouths and heard gasps. What surprised me, however, was the amount of laughter I heard. I have to say I was pretty shocked by this. I am sure this was an embarrassed kind of laughter - after all, we were being asked to confront some extremely distressing traits in human nature, and for some the reaction to it is to laugh, because crying or gasping just somehow feels too much. A particular moment where this occurred was during the court scene in Act 3 when Mary Warren is asked  to "faint" for the Magistrates to prove the girls are fabricating their stories. I found this moment extremely distressing, but there were some who laughed, though it felt like it was more a laugh of disbelief than of genuine amusement.

There were actually some genuinely funny parts to the play, like Proctor sneakily adding seasoning to Elizabeth's stew, and then feigning it was "very flavoursome" (teehee). Richard also brought great moments of sarcasm to the role - a particular moment I remember is during the court scene when Proctor says "I could think I see a five-legged dragon in my basement, it doesn't mean its there!" (or something to that effect, I must find that line!) and he said it both in complete despair but also with a cheeky sort of sarcasm which I thought was really effective.

Overall I thought Richard's portrayal of John Proctor was excellent. He was angsty, passionate, principled ... but also tender, patient, and brought a great sense of grace and nobility to the role, especially by the end where he was a fragile shell of a thing. Even in his complete despair by the end of the piece, wailing and sobbing, a man broken, Richard managed to make Proctor's conviction shine through; unflinching, unwilling to compromise his belief in what was right. He truly was the perfect martyr, in that sense. The whole cast were exceptional, it's hard to pick out any in particular. I don't think I could pick out a favourite moment, either; it all seemed to merge into one great visceral movement of tragedy and despair. 

A tender moment between John & Elizabeth - Act 2

Proctor is a broken man - Act 4

After the performance ended I decided to sit outside the theatre once more, to gather my thoughts before heading back onto a busy train. I was also amazed at how much of the play I remembered from having studied it at school - I remember mouthing "What signifies a poppet?" during Act Two quite without realising! 

"A fire is burning..." Proctor lets rip!

On a different train of thought, I also noted how although those around me had been tearful, I hadn't shed a tear. In fact, I remembered a point in the play in which Proctor lets rip about the hypocrisy around him ("We will burn together!") and I found myself smirking. Not because I was amused, but because I was with Proctor totally on this. My smirk really was "You tell them, John! Good for you!" - I felt inspired and moved by his response, and my smirking was my way of expressing this. I admitted defeat on the "glimpsing Richard at the Stage Door" front, and headed reluctantly back onto the tube, my body charged with emotion, my head full of inspired thoughts.

I thoroughly enjoyed my experience, and though annoyed at myself for not going in the evening so I could try and meet the lovely man himself, I felt pleased for treating myself to such an incredible experience and having the privilege of seeing Richard in action. 

Little did I know I was to have the chance to see the play again, and meet the man himself... but you'll have to wait to find out about that in Part 2! ;)...

Antigone x